Graduation Day

Well, my dear daughter graduated from high school last night. What started as a bitter sweet decision on her part to actually attend and participate, turned into a beautiful, but long evening. Having attended a Roman Catholic High School, the ceremony was bathed in prayer with a special message from the parish priest. Thankfully Mother Mary wasn't mentioned. As much as I don't agree with some aspects of the Catholic faith and the whole mariology, there are many similarities. The priest shared about the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Truth that he said lived within "us". Of course I interpret that as "born again" Christians, but I know that is not the jest of what those of the Catholic faith believe. He spoke of following the Spirit of Truth in our lives and putting Jesus Christ at the center. I appreciated the message but it was unfortunate that many of the graduates probably thought that is was a long and boring message that they didn't understand. I don't doubt that there are some regenerated Christians in their midst that would receive that message, but on the whole I'm guessing that the over 1000 guests that were in attendance may not understand the meaning. Generous claims put Christians in Canada at around 15%. I hesitate to guess that that number is more like 2% of the population that profess to be born again Christians. Certainly the minority in many ways. That said, I still appreciated the Christian flavor at the ceremony compared to the public board. Of course both high schools in our town had their graduations and even though the Catholic kids received the message of Christ, many of them still went to the massive grad party that lasted into the morning just like their public high school friends. Pretty hard to be "holy" and "set apart" when there is little difference in life style.
I feel for the kids of today and especially if they are trying to be "set apart". The "World" tells our kids that as long as they practice "safe sex" they can do as they please. Alcohol and drugs are a way of life and the more the better. Satan is having a hay day with our young people. He is successful at deceiving the majority of them. No child is completely safe and immune from falling into sin. We deceive ourselves if we think they are. The most sheltered and indoctrinated child can develop a twinge of curiousity that will cause them to stumble. Certainly I believe that the Christian home has a better foundation to steer clear of Satan, but we always have to be on guard and stand in the gap for our kids. Praying hedges of protection when our children are not in our midst is crucial at every age. Television and internet have opened up a whole new avenue for temptation. Even the most complicated of internet filters can be overcome by the devious mind.
I think I have gone into a bit of a rant here, but I guess it comes with the territory of being the mom of a teenager. Praying for and handing over my child to the Lord on a daily basis is a priority that I need to be more committed to.

What's In a Dream?

Today I was chatting with my Mother on MSN and she happened to share that she had a dream about me last night. With a giggle I asked her what the dream was about. She replied that in the dream I was in the "Witness Protection Program". I laughed out loud at that one. What would I ever have to testify to in order that I would have to be protected or even change my identity and move away from my friends and family? A frightening thought when I really think about it actually.
Then my Mom clarified the dream. She said that "I" was the witness and "God" was my protection. That statement stopped me in my typing tracks. I wasn't able to chat more with her and discover more details, but I have pondered that statement through the day. Am I a true "witness" for the Lord and do I rest in His protection and love the way I should. Do I often, if ever, step out of my comfort zone as a witness for Christ knowing that He is with me each step of the way?
I will keep you posted as to the rest of the meaning of Mom's dream but for know I will continue to ponder how the Lord wants me to grow from that statement.

May God be Glorified!

Today was the day that we said our goodbyes to our brother and friend, Murray. I guess "goodbye" is actually not an good word, but more like, "See you later dude!" would suit Murray more accurately. Murray is with Jesus and the Lord actually gave me a funny word picture during the service. The picture was of Murray jumping in the air and clicking his heels in an Irish Jig type fashion. I shared it with my friend beside me and we both had a little giggle, because that suited Murray. My friend shared a much closer bond with him and because of that, this friend needs our prayers. My friend is a fairly new believer and the whole "eternity thing" isn't quite as solidified as it may be with a more seasoned Christian. Murray's absence will leave an emptiness in this person's life. This emptiness can only be filled with Jesus Christ. We can try to fill it with friends or work or family, but none will ever satisfy the longing we have for the Lord.
Our pastor did a wonderful job of delivering the message today. He shared the life, struggles and victories of Murray's life. The Gospel was presented clearly. The majority of people there were believers. You could tell that due to the absence of alot of sobbing during the service. Jesus Christ is the hope of every believer and heaven is our longing and our true home.
Murray's family are also believers. God's grace and forgiveness was such a powerful force following the service that I sit again in true awe and wonder of His awesome love.
Tomorrow night we will meet for our care group as we normally would. Murray's absence will be evident. He would want everyone to go on. He would want us to expereince a closer relationship with Christ and the healing that can only occur with Him as the driving force in our lives.
Amen

Memorial

Homesick
(by Mercy Me)

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now


In Memory of Our Dear Friend and Brother
Murray Boyd

A Man After God's Own Heart

I have had the honour of facilitating a group at church that ministers to people going through separation and divorce. Divorce Care is a ministy that runs around the world and is a blessing for those in that chapter in their lives. How I wish such a group existed when I was going through my divorce 15 years ago.
Last night a tragedy struck our group. One of our dear brothers, Murray was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was only 47 years old and had two teenage children that he adored. Murray struggled daily with guilt regarding these children and what he felt he didn't give to them as a father. Murray was indeed a good father. He had a relationship with his children and even though he wasn't living with them, he talked with them daily and even would text message his son all the time. Murray lamented over his broken family and would unrealistically blame himself for many things. He struggled with forgiving himself even though he knew that Christ had forgiven him long ago. Our last session of Divorce Care was on forgiveness. The pain in Murray's eyes was heartbreaking. He couldn't bring himself to forgive his past mistakes.
I often thought of Murray much like King David. David's life was overwhelmed with sin. He had remorse that was often more than he could handle. One only has to read the Psalms to see the depression and guilt that David suffered. But David was a "Man after God's own heart". David sought the Lord with his heart, mind and soul. Murray was much like that. He was a man after God's own heart. I teased Murray last week at care group about his duct tape on his Bible. That was a sign of a Bible that was used over and over. Murray would often share how the frustration of the day was relieved with the reading of God's Word and the prayer to His Father. It would bring Murray some sort of peace for the time.
I'm going to miss Murray at our group. He would always sit down at the table and open his book to the homework of the week that he faithfully completed. He always had a question to challenge me about Scripture and its true meaning. I felt ill equipped to be put on the spot like that sometimes but with the help of the group, God would always provide us with an answer that seemed to clear the meaning for Murray.
Murray is with the Father now. He has the joy he was seeking. He has now experienced what true forgiveness really is. I wish he had realized it while he was here with us but that doesn't matter much now. We need to carry a bit of Murray in our hearts. We need to challenge our thinking and question what God's Word really means. We can accept it by faith, but understand its meaning to pass it on to others. I feel blessed for knowing Murray for this short time. I look forward to seeing him again in the life eternal that awaits those who love the Lord.
Amen

My Prodigal Child

I have a prodigal child in my dear daughter. By dictionary definition the prodigal is "Rashly or wastefully extravagant". This is my girl! She has brought me much joy in life along with much despair. We have had seasons of this despair and this is one of them. I have periods during this time when I take my eyes off of my Savior and on to the situation and I weep. I weep in fear and terror. My God is not a god of fear that title belongs to the enemy. My hope needs to be in Christ. Well meaning brothers and sisters point out my prodigal's comings and goings. They share her shortcomings with me and advise me in disciplinary measures. This only aids the enemy in taking my eyes off of my Savior, her Savior.
The parent of a prodigal already knows their comings and goings. The parent of a prodigal already is well aware of their short comings. In reminding them only intensifies the grief and stokes the fire of fear.
The parent of the prodigal needs encouragement and they need prayer. Remind this parent that you are also praying for this child. If God is calling you to reach out to this prodigal, DO IT! This parent is also praying for a godly person to come alongside of her prodigal. It may not be you, but it may be you.
Not only am I a parent of a prodigal but I am also the wife of a non-believing husband who is the prodigal's step parent. The lack of emotional and spiritual support further compounds the pain. The ultimatum of having to choose between a child or spouse should never be a reality but hence it is more real than I care to admit at this time.
I took my eyes off of Him. Until this morning. He is in control. He is asking me as He did Abraham. I need to take my prodigal to the altar and trust Him that He will provide the lamb. He will open the doors that need to be opened and close the ones that are never to be entered. Standing in the gap for those who are astray is not only a privilege but it is essential obedience.

Courtney

Today I go to work at 3:00pm to look after a 13 year old girl by the name of Courtney. I have been caring for her on and off for about five years now. Courtney is functionally deaf-blind, fed by a gastric tube, mobilizes in a wheelchair and functions at about a four year old level. as well as the size of one. Right now I can hear all the people saying things like "Oh the poor thing!" and "What a tragedy!” Let me tell you, over five years ago I may have said the same thing. Caring for "Medically Fragile" children was about the last thing I ever wanted to do. They scared me far too much. They also reminded me of what can "go wrong" during a pregnancy. Courtney has provided a paradigm shift for me.
This little girl has provided so much joy for those who are in her life. You can't help but love her from the first moment you meet her. Even though she has the "deaf-blind" label she sees and hears everything you say. Her verbalization sounds more like a fast paced babble, but unless she is cross and probably swearing at you, her words will bring nothing but a smile to your face. She uses some sign language to communicate some of her "demands" (of which this 13 year old has just as many as any other 13 year old!!!) I have picked up alot of that language over the years.
She is also very "busy". I call her a "Toddler on Wheels". You cannot take your eyes off of this little peanut or she is off like a flash on that wheelchair into anything she can get her hands on.
Looking after this sweetie does take some energy, but it is some of the most enjoyable work that I do as a nurse. I often joke and say that I can't believe they pay me to do this and that I would do it for free!! I honestly would do it for free. I'm sure that Christ puts the little Courtneys in our lives to demonstrate His love for them as well as showing love and care for the "least of these" in the world. I'm thankful that this girl is in my life

Lord

Lord you are with me
Each day.
Unchanging.
My Rock.
Even when I turn my back
To do things
My way.
The floor falls
From under my feet
Life unglued.
Haphazard living.
Your hand
Reaches down.
Waiting for mine
To reach up.
You never lose hope
In me.
Even when I feel
All hope is lost.
Thank You
For Your unconditional love,
Your steadfast love
Never ceasing.
Amen