I have heard the saying before that "Change is Good". Part of me believes that is true. It isn't Scriptural, even though some may quote it as such but it is really what our life in Christ is. I love to be comfortable, who doesn't? When I am comfortable I like things to stay just the way they are so that I can bask in that comfort. I don't have to put forth much effort in anything when I am comfortable. I can stay the way I am and things will never change. Or will they? When I get too comfortable, life can become monotonous. I begin to move and speak the same way to the same people and do the same things day after day. It is much like the robot society. There is no direction and no purpose. Life can get into a proverbial "rut".
Christ loves us so much the way we are but He also loves us too much to leave us there. But why can't others change? Why must it always be me? Jesus is calling me to "act" and not "re-act" to the crossroads in my life. He is calling me to be obedient. Others obedience is up to them and the call He has on their life. Why can't they hear His voice? Why must I always hear it and have the responsibility to be obedient? Why is it up to me to love others unconditionally when their love to me imposes so many conditions?
My crossroad now calls me to love and support my family unconditionally. Judgement is not for me. I will act as Jesus would. I will hate the sin and love the sinner. I will reflect His love to others that seem to have forgotten how much He loves them. He has made me the conduit of His purpose in their lives.
These changes make me uncomfortable. This life I have to live isn't cushy. Then again, as I have shared before, "God is more concerned with our character than He is our comfort."
Monday, May 29, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Prom Night
This is my beautiful daughter (blonde on the left)and her two friends getting ready for the prom tonight. They all look quite lovely. Now I just need to pray that they get home safely tonight!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Therapeutic Touch
Whenever I hear the term therapeutic touch I get chills up my spine. TT as it is known in the New Age Medicine circles is birthed out of Eastern faith circles and is not a Christ centered practice. The other day I experienced a therapeutic touch that was totally of the Lord.
Violet is an elderly client that I visit who lives at home with her daughter. Violet suffers from bipolar disorder as well as schizophrenia. Her daughter who is now in her fifties was only six when her mother was first ill, so in some respects, this daughter has raised herself and her mother. Old treatments and medications have taken their toll on this woman who sat before me in a near catatonic state. There is little that can be done for her now because of the lasting side effects. She is often does not speak with her mouth but you can see it in her eyes. I look into her eyes and see right into her soul longing to come out and present itself to the world. My heart aches when I visit this woman. The Lord has given me so much compassion for her. When I have reached out to touch her face I have felt her pull back. However this last visit I asked the daughter if her Mom would mind if I hugged her. The daughter said that Mom would most certainly like a hug. When I asked Violet if I could hug her, her arms reached out for me. I hugged her and I felt her arms wrap around me and hug like she had never been hugged before. She wouldn't let go and held on for dear life. When I finally had to break the hold, she had a faint smile on her face. Not a real smile like you and I would manage, but a slight curvature of the mouth. This was all her face would allow her to make but I knew that inside she was smiling from ear to ear.
I tell this story not to lift myself but to encourage others to reach out. I was blessed as much if not more than Violet was. Only our merciful God could orchestrate moments like this. I love being His messenger. My only prayer is to be more open and obedient to these moments to bless others.
Violet is an elderly client that I visit who lives at home with her daughter. Violet suffers from bipolar disorder as well as schizophrenia. Her daughter who is now in her fifties was only six when her mother was first ill, so in some respects, this daughter has raised herself and her mother. Old treatments and medications have taken their toll on this woman who sat before me in a near catatonic state. There is little that can be done for her now because of the lasting side effects. She is often does not speak with her mouth but you can see it in her eyes. I look into her eyes and see right into her soul longing to come out and present itself to the world. My heart aches when I visit this woman. The Lord has given me so much compassion for her. When I have reached out to touch her face I have felt her pull back. However this last visit I asked the daughter if her Mom would mind if I hugged her. The daughter said that Mom would most certainly like a hug. When I asked Violet if I could hug her, her arms reached out for me. I hugged her and I felt her arms wrap around me and hug like she had never been hugged before. She wouldn't let go and held on for dear life. When I finally had to break the hold, she had a faint smile on her face. Not a real smile like you and I would manage, but a slight curvature of the mouth. This was all her face would allow her to make but I knew that inside she was smiling from ear to ear.
I tell this story not to lift myself but to encourage others to reach out. I was blessed as much if not more than Violet was. Only our merciful God could orchestrate moments like this. I love being His messenger. My only prayer is to be more open and obedient to these moments to bless others.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Still Alive
I haven't blogged in some time and I decided to play around with the blogskin yesterday. I quite like this one. It reflects me in so many ways or more who I desire to be.
I had signed up for the summer semester for my degree program, even though when I started all this, I vowed not to work in the summer. Well, I have now dropped my summer course because I have realized between work, kids and just summer in general, it would be far to overwhelming to complete a course on the Theorists of Nursing. I will register again in the fall. The manic part of me would like to register for two but the level part of me thinks that may be a bit too much. I will see how the next few weeks go. I am glad that I have dropped the course and feel much more freedom to enjoy the summer and the pool.
There have been some changes at work with staff on my team. There have been some stressful moments to say the least. The new staff was "re-acting" instead of "acting" to differences in our team. The in-fighting that was occurring was so reminisent of my days at the hospital. Women can be so brutal. I found myself getting caught up in old sinful patterns that the Lord had removed me from long ago. The thought of the upcoming team meeting sent me into a tailspin emotionally. I was overwhelmed with my sinful patterns and thoughts that I literally felt sick the day of the meeting. Two days prior I began to pray about the meeting, for the new staff member and the current ones. Confession and forgiveness was needed desperately. God was and is so gracious when we confess our sins. The meeting went well in my eyes and there was much accomplished. God truly was the Chair of that meeting, even if the others were not aware of that. There was a peace that went beyond understanding. There is still a long way to go to establish the trust and cohesiveness that our team once enjoyed but I know with prayer, He will mend the broken bonds.
I had signed up for the summer semester for my degree program, even though when I started all this, I vowed not to work in the summer. Well, I have now dropped my summer course because I have realized between work, kids and just summer in general, it would be far to overwhelming to complete a course on the Theorists of Nursing. I will register again in the fall. The manic part of me would like to register for two but the level part of me thinks that may be a bit too much. I will see how the next few weeks go. I am glad that I have dropped the course and feel much more freedom to enjoy the summer and the pool.
There have been some changes at work with staff on my team. There have been some stressful moments to say the least. The new staff was "re-acting" instead of "acting" to differences in our team. The in-fighting that was occurring was so reminisent of my days at the hospital. Women can be so brutal. I found myself getting caught up in old sinful patterns that the Lord had removed me from long ago. The thought of the upcoming team meeting sent me into a tailspin emotionally. I was overwhelmed with my sinful patterns and thoughts that I literally felt sick the day of the meeting. Two days prior I began to pray about the meeting, for the new staff member and the current ones. Confession and forgiveness was needed desperately. God was and is so gracious when we confess our sins. The meeting went well in my eyes and there was much accomplished. God truly was the Chair of that meeting, even if the others were not aware of that. There was a peace that went beyond understanding. There is still a long way to go to establish the trust and cohesiveness that our team once enjoyed but I know with prayer, He will mend the broken bonds.
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