We have just returned from a few days away camping. Not quite enough time to truly "retreat" but I am intentionally trying to stay away from any work or personal commitments for a week. In some of my quiet time I did feel that the Lord was speaking to me about my self reliance. I do tend to get that way when things are going well. It is when my life is falling apart at the seams that I tend to cling to Him so tightly. I don't take the time for Him when life is "fine". Life is not "fine" if I'm running on my own strength.
Because of that I believe that many things in my life don't seem to be moving in the direction that I "want" them to. Perhaps He is trying to show me that there are many areas in my life that I seem to rely on my own strength.
He also spoke to me about my obedience or should I say my "lack of" in areas concerning relationships. I have been tending to retreat within myself, or should I say becoming somewhat introverted even at home with family. That isn't a healthy state for family and especially a marriage relationship. That will be a constant challenge for me as I do tend to retreat when I'm feeling low. Could it be spiritual depression? I have just started reading a book on that topic. Is it another attempt at diagnosis? Perhaps this diagnosis is a little closer to the real Truth?
2 comments:
"I do tend to get that way when things are going well. It is when my life is falling apart at the seams that I tend to cling to Him so tightly." We lowly humans tend to do that. We tend to be like little kids wanting to do everything on our own. We want to be big and independent but we tend to just make a mess of things or hurt ourselves then look to daddy to rescue us. That's probably part of why God allows us to go through the trials that we do, so that we can see that we really do need Him.
I have often said that the times when I feel like I have it together and feel "pretty holy" the Lord seems to knock me down to my knees and brings me back to reality. Our surrender needs to be a daily obedience I believe. Be still and know that "He" is God, not me!!
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