Fear of Death

II attended another conference today on Palliative Care. The subtitle of the conference was: "Defining Hope". I learned some really good nuggets that will surely enhance how I care for those who are in the last chapter of their lives. We had two speakers. One was a hospice nurse from the States with an extensive expertise in the field. She has co-written a couple of books concerning "Near Death Experiences". She had some wonderful stories to tell. Each account of near death was that of joy, lights and peace. The impression was that everyone goes to a glorious place of peace and tranquility. Not once did she ever mention a negative experience. I know that not all is wonderful. Not all of the glorious experiences that she spoke of will end in an eternity of joy. Without Christ, there is no joy or peace in eternity. Without Christ in this life, we forfeit an eternity with our Creator, God. Many well-meaning caregivers embrace this teaching of a broad spirituality. This spirituality is more secular than what people really imagine. To depend on the "inner self" means no dependence on the One who is the life-giver of all. It is so sad how this type of teaching in the hospice/palliative care circles is in the forefront these days.
The second speaker was a social worker who also has his masters in theology from Harvard. His claim to fame is that he obtained his masters in theology without ever stepping foot inside a church. Hence, you can imagine what he had to say. Actually in all fairness, this man is quite brilliant. He has a heart for those who are near death and wants to help them come to terms with that. He actually is located at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto and covers the pediatric caseload for home palliative care. He spoke about the fear or denial of death in our culture. We are a culture of curing people. This is so evident that in this last year, he only received six referrals from Sick Kids Hospital. 85 % of the children, who die, do so in intensive care at Sick Kids. They aren't prepared; they aren't at home, where they would probably want to be if they had their say. These poor parents aren't prepared either. They are led to believe, by the doctors that they are doing the right thing for their children. Death is looked upon as failure.
This man was very informative and I will certainly carry some of his wisdom to my patients, but there again the area of spirituality is so broad. I know we have to be culturally sensitive but I just find that things are so secular in most of health care. Palliative care to me belongs in the area of spiritual care. To guide people in the dying process and tying their loose ends up in life is a priority in hospice care. Helping them to search within and discover who they really are. If the questions about what their purpose has been in this world come up, I have no problem sharing my belief (when led). If they then "choose" to believe then that is their choice. But they need to know that they indeed have a choice.