My Unbelief

I'm reminded today about the story in Mark chapter 9 starting at verse 14. A man brings his son to Jesus. The boy is possessed by a spirit that prevents him from speaking. When the spirit "seizes" the boy it knocks him to the ground into a full grand mal seizure (by the Biblical description). This has been going on for years. The father shares that there have been times the spirit has thrown the boy into the water or fire to try and destroy him during these seizures. The father asks Jesus to remove this spirit, "if you can". Can you imagine how Jesus felt about that statement, "if you can". "Of course I can, I'm God incarnate, don't you know???? No, He didn't say that. But Jesus did say to him, "If you can? Everything is possible to the one who believes." (Mark 9:23). Of course the boy's father did believe but there was doubt. He cried out, "I do believe! Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24b).
How often I am like that boy's father. I say I believe and I even "feel like" I believe, but do I really believe that I believe? I hold on to the promise of God to save my unbelieving husband or to light the fire of God on my fence-sitting teenager, or to save the most unlikely of my co-workers. Deep down, do I believe there is a chance of any of this coming to fruition? I'm really not sure. If I were to truthfully admit it, I would say, I doubt. I have unbelief mixed in with my belief. I have encouraging Christian brothers and sisters that help me to stay on track. I have the "proof" of answered prayer in my past 10 years as a Christian, but I still doubt. In my doubt I can become cynical about the promises. I think I'm being realistic, but it can manifest as sarcasm.
I need to pray for the Lord to help me with my unbelief. He knows how we as humans struggle with the temporal. We see through the eyes of eternity, but sometimes we are a little too near sighted. God sees the fine Christian man my husband will one day be, I can't. He sees the on fire Christian my daughter will grow to be, I can't. He sees through prayer that His work will be accomplished in my "so far from God" co-workers. I'm just a a mere human and feel so finite. I feel so powerless most days, so inadequate. Lord help me with the unbelief that I carry each day. Help me to be obedient to Your call.